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Jan. 10th, 2009 09:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gavemea_45The road's dark - pretty close to pitch-black, come to that.
Still, as Sam cuts a sideways look at Dean, it's clear that the blackness outside is nothing compared to his brother's mood.
Not that his own is much better.
Dad, how could you--
"She was lying. Had to be."
He tries to sound as though he believes it.
"Demons lie all the time, right?"
Still, as Sam cuts a sideways look at Dean, it's clear that the blackness outside is nothing compared to his brother's mood.
Not that his own is much better.
Dad, how could you--
"She was lying. Had to be."
He tries to sound as though he believes it.
"Demons lie all the time, right?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 04:28 am (UTC)That ain't gonna help. That and he's gonna end up saying too much.
Christ, Dad, how the hell--
"Come on, Sam."
He wrenches his gaze from the steering wheel with an effort, looking over at his brother.
"That really what you think? Really?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 04:40 am (UTC)-- why didn't you tell me, Dad? Why didn't you say anything?
We could have figured something out, found some way-- anything besides this!
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Date: 2009-01-11 04:44 am (UTC)Dean doesn't sound like he's won jack shit, though. That'd be because he hasn't.
And, once more staring fixedly at the road ahead of him.
"How'd he do it, Sam? How the hell could he do a dumbass thing like that?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 04:47 am (UTC)"He did it for you."
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Date: 2009-01-11 04:54 am (UTC)"Exactly. How the hell am I supposed to live with that, Sam, huh? How'm I supposed to get through a day knowing he's the one who's supposed to be here, and because of me--"
He cuts himself off ruthlessly, taking a breath. It's supposed to help.
Fuck.
"And wherever he is now--Fuck. I mean. He spent his whole life chasing after this thing--his whole life--and what, just when he's in a position to cap the fucker, he turns around and makes a deal with it? What's that, Sam? You tell me, what the hell is that?"
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Goddammit.
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:07 am (UTC)Somehow he's got to find the right words, got to.
"What it is... it -- look." He shifts sideways in his seat so he can better see his brother.
"How many people do you think Dad saved?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:14 am (UTC)He holds it for a second, too.
"What does that have to do with anything, Sammy?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:17 am (UTC)A beat.
"So, how many?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:23 am (UTC)When in doubt, switch to offense.
Dean's nothing if not stubborn.
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:29 am (UTC)Including you.
"And he showed us how to do it, too. Evan Hudson's safe because of what he taught us, Dean -- that's his legacy."
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:31 am (UTC)Dean doesn't mean to snort, it just kinda slips out there.
Maybe you, Sammy. Sure as hell ain't me.
"Wow, you sure ate your Wheaties this morning."
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:37 am (UTC)"And yes, us. You and me-- we're still here, man. We gotta keep going."
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Date: 2009-01-11 05:41 am (UTC)Dean's raised eyebrow means he doesn't have to say are you serious?
He's pretty sure Sam is. Kinda sure.
Well--Sam seems to believe it. A little.
"Uh huh. Sure, Sam. Sure."
Man, that road sure is interesting. And the steering wheel. And Dean's very own hand. Yep.
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Date: 2009-01-11 06:12 am (UTC)Maybe it's given him something else to think about, at least.
Unfortunately, there's one more question Sam's got to ask; one more thing he's got to know.
"Dean. When you were trapping that demon..."
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Date: 2009-01-11 06:12 am (UTC)"Yeah? What."
It's hard not to bite that out, and Dean flexes his fingers on the steering wheel in an attempt to--
Well, in an attempt to something. Needless to say, it fails to work. Sammy keeps talking.
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Date: 2009-01-11 06:15 am (UTC)He can hear the plea in his own voice, but right now he doesn't care.
"I mean, you never considered going through with the deal, right?"
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Date: 2009-01-11 06:25 am (UTC)He should say something, something flippant and easy. That'd get Sam off his back.
That'd be the right thing to do.
Instead he leans over, flicking on the radio and turning the volume up. Way up.
That's about as much honesty as he can stand.
That's about as much anything as he can stand.
At least it keeps him from imagining Dad's scream.
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Date: 2009-01-11 06:50 am (UTC)He's got his answer.